No matter how much work you’re putting into changing your life, people always seem to have something to say. Maybe they judge your effort, or how close (or far) you are to achieving your goal.
There’s the cliché of the starving artist and their parents who wish they had been a doctor instead. In reality, this isn’t a far-fetched scenario at all. It happens all the time.
The judgement of others can be quite distracting. It can knock you off-course and cause you to quit on the things that truly matter to you.
Of all the possible outcomes, this is the worst. It causes you to feel powerless.
Others may doubt you, but don’t doubt yourself. This is easier said than done, so here are our top tips on how to keep going when others doubt you:
Surround Yourself with Positive People.
As much as you may love them, spending time with negative people can break your spirits over time. Try to avoid these people as much as possible, or in the case of friends and family you are very close with, be sure to carve out space for you to recharge your own positive energy.
We all deserve to be part of a positive and supportive group of people.
When you spend time with such like-minded people, it can amplify your passions and help you to overcome some of your self-doubts. These positive people are less likely to have negative opinions about you, so whenever possible, seek out the company of those who make you feel good about yourself, rather than negative.
Prove the Naysayers Wrong.
You will undoubtedly encounter people in life who don’t believe in your abilities.
This often isn’t personal, as perhaps they have failed to create the life they want and can’t imagine someone else doing what they couldn’t. On the other hand, this could come from a place of love, as they don’t want you to “ruin” your life in the pursuit of something that isn’t going to work out.
The desire to prove others wrong can be a powerful motivator. While we would usually recommend finding inner peace on the matter and relinquishing the need to prove anything to others, sometimes the only way to put comments to rest is by showing them how wrong they are about the situation.
Don’t be your own worst enemy.
It can be tempting to beat up on yourself in times of stress and failure. But if you can’t find faith in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?
When you develop a firm sense of confidence in yourself, that self-love will shine outwards and be visible to others. A strong sense of faith in yourself will cause people to have more faith in you.
Even when people have opinions (and spoiler alert: they always will), your confidence will help you to ignore them and focus on what’s really important.
What Others Think Isn’t Always Accurate.
What others think isn’t always an accurate reflection of life. Most of the time, it’s merely a reflection of their own beliefs, perceptions and experiences.
While there are plenty of people who might be wiser than you, this doesn’t mean they understand your life and the complexity of your vision better than you do.
Try to remember that everyone is going through their own challenges. If someone doubts you can achieve success and tries to convince you otherwise, consider what they might have experienced in order to feel that way.
Is it possible they have a core lack of faith in themselves that they’re projecting onto you?
Having some empathy for others and awareness of how they view the world can help you to remove yourself from other’s commentary and take it less personally.
You Can’t Please Everyone and Shouldn’t Try.
It’s an unfortunate truth of life: no matter how hard you try, some people just love to complain. There is simply no pleasing these people.
Why bother trying?
Your time is better spent doing what you love and focusing on your vision for your life. It might not be the most professional saying, but it’s applicable here to suggest that you let the haters hate, and keep on being you.
Know That Making Mistakes Will Help You Learn.
You may be afraid of making mistakes in front of others. Most of us have experienced an embarrassing situation where we made a silly mistake in front of others that felt crippling in our youth.
Time might have given us perspective on this event, but it doesn’t mean we still aren’t afraid of going through a similar situation again.
But no matter how careful you might be, you’re bound to make a mistake in the presence of others eventually. When you do, people may have an opinion about those mistakes — or, in many cases, we become paranoid that they’re judging us without actually knowing for sure.
Either way, this can be painful to go through. It doesn’t have to stop you, though.
As long as you learn something from the situation, you will have some legs to stand on moving forward. By owning your mistakes and finding something to learn, you can grow from the event and gain some self-respect, which is the best way to shut out the voices of anyone who would rather hold you to your failures.
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People Don’t Always Take Their Own Advice.
You have probably heard a few people say: “if I were you, I would…”
The trouble is, when those people faced with the same situation, many of them don’t even come close to doing what they suggested. Following any form of advice can be challenging, let alone applying our own.
Therefore, when you hear that phrase, feel free to take whatever value you can find in it, but most of all trust your own judgment. Such things are much easier said than done, and you’ve got to follow your own path at the end of the day.
Be Accepting of Others.
We all know what it’s like to be criticized, but sometimes we are the ones who are most critical of others. Not only can this be harsh on our own self-esteem (as focusing on the worst in others often comes from a denial of our own negative qualities), but it causes you to gain a bad reputation.
This can make you a target for others to speak ill of you too.
It really is true: what goes around comes around, as they say.
Don’t get caught up in this negative behavior. Some people will still form opinions about you, but at least it won’t be because you are opinionated yourself. Instead, you will be able to look upon them and accept their faults, making you the better and more loving person.
After all, isn’t that the thing we’re all striving for on our journey to success?
By applying these steps, you’ll be able to keep going when others doubt you. By doing so, you’ll develop a strong sense of self-esteem and self-worth that will carry you forward towards a more positive future.